This is a kids' movie based on the assumption that kids are just dumber versions of adults. There is nothing about Race to Witch Mountain that is especially kid-friendly, except for the fact that it is based on a simplistic screenplay. If you think of your children as dumb little drones that just need some pretty pictures in front of them to keep their interest, by all means take them to this film. Under it all, this is an action movie, starring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson. If the producers had realized this fact, along with the knowledge that any of the fans of the original movie are now adults themselves, they might have made a very different, and more interesting, movie.
     Yes, this is a remake of the 1975 film, Escape to Witch Mountain. It was a film, that while not terrifically popular, is a part of our pop culture memory to the point that everyone seems to accidentally call this new movie "Escape," and not "Race" to Witch Mountain. In the original film, two orphans with mysterious powers tried to elude capture while discovering who their true identities. In the new film, we know from the beginning that they are aliens, thus eliminating any sense of mystery or suspense. The kids themselves do a great job with what they are given. AnnaSophia Robb as Sara and Alexander Ludwig as Seth, make believable alien children in an otherwise hard to believe film. AnnaSophia Robb stands out in particular--I would bet money on her being groomed as the next teen starlet.
     Dwayne Johnson stars in the Bruce Willis role from The Fifth Element--a cab driver named Jack who has some aliens fall in his lap. He is charismatic as always, but is given some truly ridiculous things to say. The terrible dialogue in the film provides the only real comic relief. Unfortunately, that's not to say that it's even so bad it's good. The rest of the film moves forward at such breakneck speed, that you are thankful just to catch your breath and listen to The Rock say something stupid. The lack of mystery about the kids' origin also robs the movie of any kind of first act that could ease us into the story. The "race" is on, almost immediately, and doesn't let up until the last frame.
     The relentless pacing often seems to serve the purpose of smoothing over the more obvious plot holes in the screenplay. The children have almost limitless powers, but rely on Jack to drive them around the whole time, as they sit in the most well-lit backseat in movie history. Yet, the writers take the time to have some government agents go through Jack's file, explaining in detail how he used to be a professional race-car driver, in order to back up his prowess in the driving scenes. At one point, they even literally use chaos theory to excuse their shoddy writing.
     Race to Witch Mountain is not all bad. The special effects and costumes are often amusingly retro, and there are some elements of parody that work quite well. Carla Gugino is beautiful and compelling, even though her and the other supporting characters seem to be just hanging out waiting to help the main characters along their way. Although most of the one-liners fall flat, there are a few that hit their mark. Unfortunately, the movie overall has far more misses than hits. There is no sense of wonder surrounding any of the fantastical occurrences in the film. An alien visit to Earth should be a momentous occasion, and they come off as little more than another day in the life of a Las Vegas cab driver.

Buy: 

Race to Witch Mountain (Two-Disc Extended Edition + Digital Copy)